2017: Random Thoughts, Ideas and Resolutions

1.) It is time for me to stop asking what I can do for God and start asking what He can do for me. I realize that sounds terrible at first. This thought came from my time in the Word of God this morning. 2^nd Samuel 7 tells of David’s decision to build God a house. His heart is very good on the matter. David says, “Why should I live in a house of cedar and God in one of curtains.” And Nathan the prophet says, “Go for it!” But later that day, Nathan receives a Word from God and reverses his support, stopping David in his tracks. You probably remember God ultimately wanted David’s son, Solomon to build the temple instead, but you may have forgotten that this is not the first thing God said to David. The first thing God said is that He (God) is actually going to build the house of David (v.11). See, David wanted to build God a house, but God’s response was, “No, I will build your house instead.” I believe sometimes God is saying to us, “Ask not what you can do for Me, but what I can do for you.” Of course, this cannot be taken to the extreme of “health and wealth” nonsense, but neither can the truth of it be ignored by those who really want to understand God. The Lord builds the house, or else those who labor are wasting their time (Psalm 127:1). Christ builds the church, and He does so in response to our faith in Him (Matt 16:18). Believe it or not, many of us pastors hear that once again and in our minds we sort of go, “Oh yeah. I keep forgetting that.” Yes, it is time to stop asking what I can do for God and start asking what He wants to do for me. Refusal to consider such a thing is like Peter refusing to let Jesus wash His feet. It’s a false humility that says God doesn’t have a plan or doesn’t want to do anything for us. Meanwhile, God is saying, “Stop! Believe! Watch!” Yeah, that’s what God showed me this morning in His Word. What does God want to do in 2017? What does He want to do in and through and for me (and in and through and for the church I shepherd). At least for now, that is the question. 

2.)  It is time for me to stop whining about the fact that my kids all left to go so very far away in the same week and that now we must actually get on a plane and take vacation time to even see them at all. Okay, that was my last whine about this situation. The turning point in my thinking came this morning in the realization that this is a VERY exciting time for all of them. I have thought about how proud I am, but I have not thought a lot about the joy that is set before them as they begin their adventurous adult lives, following Christ. With Conner and Caroline at seminary and Tory on the mission field, they are all living out the earliest days of their callings and the truth is that those are some of the most exciting times that I remember. I am genuinely happy for them and this helps me find contentment. Since this is such a great time for them, I will not let it be a bad time for me. My grown children are doing what we raised them to do and what we prayed they would be privileged to do. They are following Jesus. I am as fulfilled in this as in any part of my life; therefore, I refuse to be sad about it anymore. I choose joy. I trust God with the future of our relationships, whether at a distance or not.

3.) It is time to let gratitude win. It is not that I am ungrateful or that I do not see how good I have it. I probably spend 43% of my time thinking like that. But the other 57% of the time, I’ve been complaining. Yuck. It is time to let gratitude win, because I have way more to be thankful for than I have about which to complain. [Mental note: Turn complaints to thanks in 2017. Let's turn this thing around.]

4.) It is time to let the grace of God be enough. I have an overactive conscience. People who are close to me know I feel guilty all the time for basically nothing. I feel guilty for not having work to do most evenings and relaxing in my home. How dare I have time to play WORDS WITH FRIENDS. Aren’t pastors supposed to work all the time? (Answer: No) I feel guilty that I don’t pray and study for hours every day like my wife. I feel guilty for not evangelizing enough. I feel guilty for having it so good. I practically feel guilty for existing. They say confession is good for the soul. The Bible says, “Confess your sins one to another” (James 5:16). My confession is that I feel guilty all the time, not about any particular sin, but about general, overarching areas of my life. Wait a minute. Am I now feeling guilty for feeling guilty?

Note: Most people just have no idea what it is like to be a pastor… to know that a mistake or a weak area could ruin or end your ministry (and on the inside your “ministry” and your “life” seem pretty much synonymous). But the pressure doesn’t come mostly from the people. People are generally gracious. My problem is not the expectations of others, but my expectations of myself. And really, nobody knows my self that well, except me. The truth is that I am probably a whole a lot better than some people think I am. The more I “get real” with people about myself, the more some people jump all over that and they tend to think of me as less spiritual or less moral or basically less… than I actually am. Some people love to think less of leaders. But on the other hand, I am definitely a whole heck of a lot worse than others think I am. Bless these encouraging folks hearts, they just think I’m awesome. And sure, that feels good. But who am I, really? I am a sinner saved by grace. I am a spiritual beggar. I am hopelessly dead on my own BUT I am alive in Christ and His grace makes me spotless before God. And oh, that last part does not equal a license to sin in my mind. Not for me, no. That’s not my problem. I’m on the other extreme… still trying too dang hard. Oh wait… I said “dang.” I also said, “heck” earlier. Does that mean I’m slipping spiritually? Or does it just mean that someone out there will think that? What do I think? Well, let me just say that the introspection that came with this particular new year has brought me this one clear revelation: Personally, I need to give myself a stinking break! I need to remember that the Cross was enough. The Cross was enough. The Cross was enough. Thank you, Jesus.