My son proposed to the sweet girl he had been courting last Saturday, on
his nineteenth birthday. My wife and I were a part of the decision and are in complete
support. We couldn’t be more excited. He believes she is “the one.” So do we. He even wrote a song for her
called, “She Is The One.”
Some would debate this idea. Some would say God does not
have a plan “A” for your marital future. So, does He? Is there a “one?” Or are
you “free” to marry whomever you choose, and God will help you make it work?
Pastors get nervous about this question. Some are careful to
say, “No there is not a ‘one,’” and I get where they are coming from. They are
afraid of the consequences of such a belief. You see, sometimes people want to
end their marriage, because they think they married “the wrong one.” But that’s
faulty logic. Once you marry a person, he or she becomes “the one.” As Jesus said, “For what God has joined
together, let no man separate.” If you are married, the one you married has now
become “the right one,” regardless. If there had been someone else God had
originally in mind, that person is now cut off and no longer a possibility. He
or she is certainly no longer God’s plan for you, but now God’s plan is the
person you joined with in holy matrimony, period. [Okay, I said "period," but yes I do realize there are biblical grounds for divorce, yet the point stands that God has a way of working out a plan for you in spite of everything else. "He/she wasn't the right one," is NOT biblical grounds for divorce.]
Another reason people are afraid of this belief is also based
on “what ifs.” By the way, when talking about the Sovereignty of God, “what
ifs” just really are moot points. But some look at it this way: If you miss
plan A and marry plan B, then you’ve now married someone else’s plan A, which
means they must marry plan B, and now that person’s plan A is also screwed up and
eventually the whole world is marrying the wrong person. This logic kind of
cracks me up, because it completely fails to understand the fact that God can
work out His plan in spite of any of our less-than-best choices. See Romans 8:28. We will never completely understand the
Sovereignty of God, but to decide He doesn’t even have a plan in the first
place, because we are afraid of what happens if we don’t follow that plan, is
to render the whole discussion meaningless, and to leave us on our own. “On our
own” is not at all what we see in Scripture.
I’ll say it again, if you think you have messed up God’s
plan by marrying the wrong person, you are mistaken. You cannot mess up God’s
plan. His very best plan possible for your life is now for you to stay married
to the person you married. However, this note is written to singles, because
singles like my daughter, and others who are still waiting… are on my heart.
And so, I want to state plainly how strongly I believe that God
has someone specific in mind for every believer who He intends to be married.
It would be very inconsistent for me to say that God has a plan for your life,
yet to exclude this most important area, as if God would for some strange
reason, leave your life-partner out of His plan. No, I believe God absolutely has someone
specific in mind for each of us. I do.
I love the story in Genesis 24, where we find out that
Abraham’s faith in God's plan had been contagious throughout his household. Abraham’s
servant, who he sent out to find a wife for his son, shared his faith in God,
and that faith centered around the belief that God had a plan. This wonderfully-faithful servant prayed, “O
Lord, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today… now may it
be that the girl to whom I say, ‘Please let down your jar so that I may drink,’
and who answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’—may she be the
one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac; and by this I will
know...” (v.14).
Clearly, by faith, the servant believed that God had a
specific person in mind for Isaac to marry. He believed this and he acted on
that belief, and by the way, his belief proved to be well founded. Through the
union of Isaac and Rebekah, the nation of Israel was born.
Now, some would say this type of thing does not apply to the
rest of us ordinary believers. Some
would say that the reason this does not apply to all of us is that we are not
all Isaac, heir of Abraham, father of nations. But those same people would still
say that God has a plan for us. Well, does He, or does He not? Are we
less important to God than Abraham? Is God too small to have a plan for each of
us? No, I would say that the difference
between Abraham, his servant, and “ordinary” believers today is simply faith.
I believe God has a plan that is just this specific for each and every believer.
The only difference for us is the degree to which we believe in, look for, and
follow God’s plan. Faith is the key to experiencing God’s plan for your life, marriage included.
The prophet Jeremiah said of God, “For I know the plans that
I have for you…” and you probably know the rest. Many young believers today have
rightly claimed this verse; while some theologians have wanted to correct them,
saying that this verse was only for Jeremiah. Not so. In fact, the audience of
Jeremiah 29:11 is the entire people of God. At this point, that would be us…
the church… the true children of Abraham, adopted into the family of God by
faith in Christ. This promise about God’s good plan is absolutely intended for
each and every follower of Christ. The only question is how much you believe
that and how much you act upon it.
Will you have the faith of Abraham and walk out the plan of
God for your life? Or will you assume God's plans are not all that specific and
just go your own way, hoping He will bless whatever you decide? I can tell you
what most people do. Do you want the life most people have? What about when it
comes to your future spouse? I would encourage you to wait for “the one” God
has for you. Do so, and you will not be disappointed. God has a plan and His
plan isn’t just good; it’s the best.
